reminiscing....

My Mom passed away this past November. My Dad had passed away back in 1969 less than a month after I married. The last photos we had of him were taken that day. This is my father and I on that day...taken before we left for the church. This past week two of my sisters had been going through my Mom's things and sorting things out to send to all of us kids. I suppose as the oldest I should have been there but that is not always the way family dynamics work. I had gone down for the funeral and as is usual with families it was a reunion of siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins that you haven't seen in years. We are scattered all over the US. While we were there my youngest sister who would be taking care of the estate asked if there was anything special I wanted. Other's had things they really wanted to have but my answer was no....just something small to remember her by. I never got anything that belonged to my Dad. That bothered me for years. I thought it was important to have something tangible to take out and look at and touch to make the memories of him real. An event changed my mind about that a long time ago. I lost everything in a fire. Pictures, my kids Christmas ornaments that they had made, things that I had collected. But the kids and I were still alive and unscathed. After that my material possessions had little importance to me anymore. Yes... I got upset if someone broke something. But the person and their feelings were more important than the item could be. But I guess I regress. I spoke with my two sisters this morning and they had finished the task and said they had sent a package out on Tuesday. It arrived today. There were some pieces of her pewter (she collected it for years) and some of her jewelry (just costume jewelry but we had similar tastes) and along with that were some little things that followed my life. There is the little beaded bracelet from when I was born? Not sure. It has blue beads but don't recall when they stopped using them. I was born in Luella's Maternity home in Skowhegan Maine in the middle of a blizzard. I've been told it was so cold that Luella took me into her bed at night to keep me warm. Boy...how times have changed. Picture of me and my Dad and me and my Mom when I was little. There is a copy of my maternal grandmother's obituary. She died while I was away in Australia for a year. Graduation photos and proms and my debutant photo. There's a charm bracelet of my mother's with all of us kids (there were six of us) birth dates and her wedding anniversary and my first wedding and a couple other charms. They were real popular there for awhile. All these things evoked memories. The most important thing is....I have these memories and don't need to bring out the items (though they will be cherished and shared) and can enjoy these memories when ever and where ever I want. Yes - I shed a few tears as I went through things. But that's okay.

6 comments:

Sixsisters said...

Very touching. I went through a crisis and lost everything too. I was never materialistic anyway. Your loved ones matter most.

joonbeam said...

Very lovely, scottie. I know material things aren't everything but it is still nice to have those special items if they are around. And I am glad they shared them and sent you some.

Katya said...

What a precious box you received! Although the things we have should never own us, there is often a kind of comfort in just having them near us. The most precious treasures are ones that remind us of those we loved and have loved.

Judy Nolan said...

Thank you for sharing this, Dayna. My mother passed away six years ago, and though those material possessions are far less important than the people who passed them on to us, they are reminders of that person. What a lovely thing for your sisters to do!

Judy (JN Originals)

ZudaGay said...

Thank you for sharing this, Dayna! It is nice to have something that belonged to our loved ones.

Jean Levert Hood said...

Your stories are so touching, Scottie. Thank you for sharing.